though that poly will be a new start for me but seriously, since the first day of orientation, nothing went right. and when i say nothing it really means NOTHING. fuck. thought that working will at least make me forget about my school stuff and home stuff, guess what , work also got stuff for me scratch head. fml fml fml.
is the world ending soon? if it is, just end it quickly. preferably by today .
sch work home. 3 huge killers. one pathetic me to endure, fml. after times and times telling myself not to give up and motivates myself in whatever ways that i thought of. but still, nothing moves an inch. everything is still the same just that the amount of load on my shoulders is getting greater and greater instead of vice versa. i tried my really best to do well for everything. fml. why are they still not gone yet? SOMEONE PLS REALLY ENLIGHTEN ME.
so now, i really feels tired. feeling tired physically is okay, but its when you're tired mentally, you will find yourself on the verge of mind breaking. the feeling really can tear yourself apart and then prolly just jump down unknowingly. i cant find any other motivation ways , at least for now.
i know its impossible. but i really hopes the heaven or somebody who is capable of helping me can read this particular post. im really tired. money affairs, work affairs, sch affairs. friends.....
it really sucks to be only child sometimes. you cant depend on anybody at all, even if it is just a slight lean. EVERY MOTHER FUCKING CB THINGY IS ON YOU. and it is even worse when there is nobody you can talk to . cause everybody have their own problems to deal with too. at first i thought it will be okay as my level of endurance is different from an average person. but it turns out to be so suffocating now. i can barely breathe. every breath i take, i have to think thrice . because consequences are all on me.
this is real maddness.
parents... sighhh. nvm. some things are very hard to spell out as words. so lets just end here. toodles.
You shall perish after graduation.
